It’s been a month since my last post. I cannot believe it. How time flies!!!
So much has happened in that space. I’ve come so far yet feel I’m stuck at a crossroad…..again.
In the past month, I’ve travelled from Canada back to Australia where I was reunited with my son, Master T and my husband, Mr. M.
Not only is it hard on the body to spend 30 hours travelling from one side of the globe to the other, but it’s hard on the mind to return to a life that is no longer just about me.
On my 2-month long solo holiday I was so free to do whatever I wanted……ME. It was all about me and I know it is selfish but I liked it that way.
My first week back home was spent cleaning and packing up “things” to move across Australia as well as adjust to wife and motherhood again. My feelings of love, peace and joy faded and were replaced by impatience, frustration and denial. Now, we are all settled in at our rented house on the coast a few hours north of Perth, WA. And so it begins….the pressure to perform.
The pressure to be the model mother, wife, lover, cook, cleaner, shopper, yogi, boxer, health nut, family administrator, skydiver and….dun dun daaaa dah…..WRITER is mounding.
I have not spent much time coming up with pitches because I do not have my own internet access at home, which I feel is necessary to be able know what’s out there at the moment. When I bring this up to Mr. M he asks why I need internet to write in the first instant. And what ideas do I have to pitch anyway? It seems to be a case of the chicken and the egg…..what comes first? Sure, an idea happens in my head but how can I pitch an idea with nothing to back it up?
I admit that I can be extremely lazy when it comes to writing and it’s far easier to avoid the rejection from editors if I simply do not pitch ideas. If Mr. M didn’t remind me, subtly sometimes and outwardly other times, that I need to make some money……at least to pay for the internet that I need to stay in the know and research ideas, do the pitches, contact case studies, experts and editors, I would keep putting it off.
And I agree with him: I need to step it up. What pisses me off about his pressure is that he has no clue what he’s talking about. He thinks I can just write something, anything in a word document and then call up an editor and sell it to him/her. And boy oh boy, I wish it were that easy!!!
Freelancing can be very rewarding and I have every faith in myself that I can do it successfully. Now that 6-year-old Master T is back in school and all the boxes are unpacked and Mr. M is happily at his fabulous ‘I LOVE MY JOB’ workplace every day, I have absolutely no bloody excuse. I need to take on the New Zealand attitude:
HARDEN THE F*#K UP and just do it…….
Pingback: Highlights of 2012 « Kai Chronicles