Kai Chronicles

Eating, exploring and enjoying life

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Caught up in the hoopla


I recently had a piece published on the prestigious Australian website, The Hoopla. This is a main target amongst many budding and established writers because it discusses topics of the NOW and offers a place for everyone to have a say. Read the article here.

When I submitted to their My Story segment (way back in March – before I had decided to be tested), I never considered (silly of me) that my personal little article would generate any comment, let alone 19 of them when I saw it for the first time.  I was shocked and a bit scared to read them especially when I scanned and saw words like ANNOYED, ANGRY and SCREAM. Uh-oh.

Then I actually read the comments and they were full of concern and heartbreak from people who were going through a similar experience, or had in the past. There were many, “GO HAVE THE TESTS” kind of suggestions. I tried to reply to every post but it got to the point where I felt I had to stop. I realised that I couldn’t say anything to these strangers that would make everything ok, for them or me. Some lost mothers to cancer, some had cancer themselves. Some needed to book an appointment and did so after reading my post – I’m grateful for that.

Even though the comments were tame I still felt like an idiot; like a stupid, selfish woman who couldn’t get her priorities in order. And I put myself there. I put myself out there for scrutiny. This is what we writers do.

I thank each and every one of those strangers who commented. I have taken their words in; allowed them to seep into my soul. Fear holds us back from so many things and life is one the the biggest things we miss out on because of it.

Do you have a health concern that needs to be checked? 


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Hospital, starvation, drugs and a good book

I checked into Joondalup Health Campus (Private) at 3:30pm on Monday as scheduled. I was not allowed any food that day but had to drink lots. This frequent liquid intake helped with hunger pangs but by early evening I felt like I was hallucinating. When the orderly brought my “dinner” I had never been so excited to consume artificial colours in the form of cordial and jelly (Jello).

june 13 dinner


I spent most of the evening reading A Fault in Our Stars by John GreenI had started it the night before and had to force myself to turn the light off and go to bed so I was less than 40 pages in when I got to the hospital. From 4pm until 730pm I sipped and read, sipped and read. At 730, The Voice came on but I must say, I was more interested in my book than I was the show. Of course, by about 830pm the laxatives had kicked in so I was up and down. I can hear someone yell STOP, so I will not go into those details. It wasn’t that bad though.

june 13 hos room

This is only half of my private room.

june 13 me reading

A selfie of me doing what I do best

I stayed up reading until 11pm but I did not get a sound sleep – too much back and forth or fear of going through my mind to really rest. Even so, my mini “holiday” was delightful. Sad to think that is how I find solitude and some ME time. FFS!!

At 6:40am I was woken by the nurse for yet another dose of laxative. Ok, Ok I’m not saying more. I drank it and picked up my book again.

This book, which BTW, is a Young Adult read is fantastic. I was hooked from page 1. It’s dark; there’s a lot of death and sadness but the love story is heart warming and hopeful. It’s beautifully written  the characters are all loveable creatures (well, most of them).  I can only dream of being as good a writer as John Green some day. I was lucky to be so engrossed that I didn’t have much time to consider the procedure that was upon me. Before I knew it, it was time to shower with the hospital grade antibacterial body wash and immediately afterwards, I was taken to surgery.

It’s quite confronting being wheeled through the ward, down the elevator and through hallways with all eyes on you as you pass. When we got to the holding area, I was left there for a few minutes before a nurse covered me with a warm blanket. How great are those blanket warmers? I was all warm and snug until the anaesthetist came and asked me a zillion questions before whisking me off to the theatre.

I saw my doctor, who I had only ever met once before and he spoke to me for about 30 seconds before the anaesthetist gave me the shot. It  entered my bloodstream through my right hand. I felt it slowly cooling my arm as the nurse asked me to open wide for the mouth piece. That’s it. The next thing I remember was the opening and closing of my eyes as two nurses stood by my bed back in the holding area. They were talking about something that had happened the day before or to another staff member or something. I struggled to hold my eyelids open then gave up and just enjoyed the inability.

I spent the next 2-3 hours in my room waiting for my blood pressure to come down and the drugs to wear off. I was given lunch (gluten-free) and read until Mr M and Master T arrived to get me. The nurse came and gave me a report to take home.

All I know at this point is this: “Normal lower GI endoscopy”.

I am still waiting for the biopsy report to be sent to my GP.

What I have noticed is this. On the morning after I had had no food for 36 hours, my tummy was flat. Now that I am eating again it is constantly bloated and I am not having any gluten. Mr M says that I’m obsessing and maybe I am.

Maybe I am. I’ve always been really good at that.



I want to stay here forever

relax garden


Well hello there. It’s been awhile.

I was a little surprised when I realised my last post was on May 15th.

I’ve been on a slow, very slow climb to recovery. Not physically, that’s yet to come but mentally I feel I’m on other side of blah…the good side.

I’ve been stress free for at least a week, maybe more. I have slipped into an existence of being. I do things but not in a hectic, control-freak way. I just do what needs to be done or feels like the right time to be doing it at the time. I don’t over analyse things as much. I’m certainly not freaking out about rejections from an editor or whether I can afford this that or the other. I’m buying a Kindle on Tuesday.

I’ve wanted one since my BFF Gillian lent me hers to read, Fifty Shades Darker last June.  For some reason, I never got one. I’ve bought several paper books since then though; enough to have bought a Kindle and a few ebooks. Well, I’ve decided I want one so I’m getting one when I go to the city next week.

Next week, I’m going to the city to my “procedure”. This is how one acquaintance put it the other day so now it’s the term to describe the colonoscopy and gastroenterology I am having on Tuesday. I’m looking forward to it. I  have been eating nonstop wheat and gluten since I saw the specialist on May 9th. I’m getting used to having tummy rumbles and ruptures. I may miss them when I give up gluten again after Monday (I can’t eat any solids the day before the “procedure”).

Having the “procedure” may stress some people because of “going under the knife” but I’m not worried. I’m loving my daily life at the moment. As I said, I’m not stressing. I do wonder if this is a good thing or not; sometimes I’m afraid this slow speed won’t gather enough momentum to take me far in my creative career but I don’t dwell on that. It’s passing thoughts.

What’s helped me so much is reading. I have finished Marianne Williamson’s A Return to Love and now I’m nearly finished Pat Mesiti’s A $1 Million Reason to Change your Mind. It’s a book about prosperity and how you need to change your mindset to be prosperous. It’s so good and so helpful. Of course, I have known for many years that mindset plays a major part in how prosperous your life will be and for me, it’s been easy to forget that notion as well. I need reminders a lot, especially when I let my mind revert back to negative thinking and depression.

To overcome this inbred affliction, I am now (once again) focussing on what I want in my life and tossing to the side what I don’t want. I have made a vision board (something I have done many times before) and I am doing what needs to be done in the moment. I feel relaxed, calm and at ease in what I do.

I’m in a good great place and I want to stay here forever.

What are you doing to take care of your mental health? 





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Why I have to eat gluten.

I’m back on gluten. It’s not by choice but I must admit, I am enjoying my freshly made blueberry lemon scones. Even though I said I wouldn’t over-do it, I already have. I feel fine – full maybe but nothing horrible has gone on or wrong with my body…so far.

blueberry scones

homemade blueberry lemon scones

The reason I am back on gluten is because my Gastroenterologist has suggested it. More than suggested it, I guess. See, I need to have a colonoscopy and a gastroscopy  and he said that it is best for me to be on a gluten diet before the procedure.    Which is fine, obviously I jumped right back to wheat when I found out. I love baking and I have been missing muffins and toast. Last week, I made a gluten-free loaf of bread (pre-mix) and it was good. Would have been better if the whole loaf had of cooked the entire way through but.

I can’t get stuck on gluten though. And I need to realise that after the operation, I will need to restrict it again. The specialist said that if nothing major turns up, it’s mostly likely going to be that I have IBS and there’s no cure all for that. Let us wait and see what happens.

I’m in the process of checking with my insurance and booking the hospital. I could go on the public wait-list but it may take up to 3 months and if I go public, I don’t get an anaesthesiologist. I think it worth the $250 insurance excess to go private and have the right people administering drugs.

I’m not looking forward to the procedure but I am looking forward to a few more gluten-based meals over the next few weeks.

It’s Friday people!! Have a great weekend. Let us eat cake.