Kai Chronicles

Eating, exploring and enjoying life


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I forgot all about this little blog and some other important things

forget

 

The past 3 weeks (since my last blog post) have gone so fast, I just can’t believe it. Nor can I believe that I have not written a post since April 9th.

Last time,  I spoke about having too much on my plate. So much, in fact that I forgot about my blog. That’s not entirely true (I didn’t forget but I surely neglected), but if you read that post called How much is too much, you will see I didn’t even include it on my list of TO DO. Shame on me.

I actually let the largeness of that list and the commitments attached to it consume me. And not in a good way.

I let things crumble around me slowly but surely.

This past week, things (my madness) got to the breaking point. There were days I could have snapped in two; I was so rigid and uptight. I was so focussed on WHEN I was going to pull this writing and photography career off that I lost control of the only thing that matters: The HERE & NOW.

I was engrossed in making a schedule of my time; one so rigid that I could not keep up with it. Not even for one day. It was unrealistic and by no surprise, I shut down: mentally and nearly physically. I couldn’t keep up with my own personal demands on my body, mind, emotions and soul. Everything started to slow down. I did work. I had lots of writing assignments for the newspaper plus Master T home on school holidays to keep me UP and active but my other  stuff stopped. Mild depression settled in and set up camp.

I stopped exercising. I stopped writing my novel. I stopped studying. I certainly stopped trying to be an attentive mother. Thank goodness he’s a 7-year-old with an iPod, a TV, lots of LEGO and books.

I was stressed about money, my procrastination, my loss of drive and a very big financial decision hung over my head as did an impending month-long overseas holiday.

I wanted everything to stop.

Except The Voice. I wanted The Voice to be on 24 hours a day. I needed that kind of motivation and inspiration near me. But that’s another post.

I was terrified and I hated myself for digging an enormous hole. A hole I would have to climb out of, eventually.

I made the big decision (new camera gear is on the way), the trip was postponed, I shut the computer off on Saturday and most of Sunday (today) and I let myself be free to do as much or as little as I wanted to at the moment. I know I need to stop forcing myself to do things because I think THAT IS the only way to get things done. It doesn’t work for me. I need a new system. I let go of everything for a few days and it worked.

I’m out of the hole, or at the very  least,  I’m close to the top. My nails are a mess!!

There’s something within me that I don’t quite understand but it’s some kind of mechanism in my soul that refuses to let me fall completely.

There’s been many times in my life where I could have gone down dark and dreary paths, and sometimes I did choose that but only for a short time. Whether it was drugs, alcohol, people, food, jobs, a mental state or a real live wrong turn,  I always seem to know when I need to change direction and head towards the light.

I am destined to succeed, I just forget sometimes.

I have a quote by Jack Welch sitting in front of me that says:

Change before you have to

It’s the kind of reminding that I need. Constantly.

If it’s broken, FIX IT. My way of thinking and my self-worth was broken but it’s on the mend now.

destiny

©Jennifer Morton Photos

My next post will surely be about The Voice!

 

 

 

 

 


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How to set yourself up to succeed

As April 1st looms, I am considering my choices. I know I have to restrict my diet again. I know wheat & gluten especially are making me ill and pooing all over my life.

I know that I am being lazy and unmotivated, in my health and writing.

I know I feel soooo much better when I exercise daily and eat very little complex carbs.

I know I love a nice piece of cake or a really great muffin. And chocolate…goodness me, I love chocolate.

I know I don’t want to live without these things.

I know that if I restrict them, I will only want them even more in a month or two.

I know that my past “diets” have been successful for short periods only.

I know I need to make it a lasting lifestyle change. But how?

I don’t want to be a martyr but I do want to look and feel good  great.

The older I get, the wiser I become. I know myself fairly well these days.

Restricting all will only last a short time, this I already know so I’ve come up with some tips for myself (and maybe for you) to ensure my success and good health.

  1. Write down goals, dreams and desires for yourself. Post them where you will view daily.
  2. Make the commitment: Be true to yourself and fight (yourself) for a better life and way of living.
  3. Read and watch: Anything and everything that will motivate & inspire you to stick to your goals. This may need to be done daily!!
  4. Delay gratification: We live in a ‘I WANT IT NOW’ society and maybe that is why we are all so spoilt. Hard work, patience and determination deserves reward,  nothing less.
  5. Celebrate your wins: Preferably not with something you are restricting!! Choose a treat that will enhance your wellbeing: a massage, a day at the beach, a long walk or snuggle down with a book or your favourite TV show.
  6. If it makes you feel good, keep doing it. If it makes you feel bad, stop doing it. Sounds simple, eh?
  7. Set aside time for quiet: meditation, reading, journal writing, a hot bath. Choose a time when you are guaranteed silence to just be.
  8. Be grateful for what you have: Being thankful for everything in your life, the good and the bad will turn every experience into a lesson, not a drama-filled crisis.
  9. Step out of your comfort zone: Do something that you have always been too afraid to do. This is a great way to boost confidence that will spill over to many areas of your life.
  10. Take a day off each week: Have one free day with no rules, restrictions or boundaries. If your one day turns into two, then three….you’ll have to start over from the beginning again.

I’m loving #10. I have decided that Sunday, the traditional day of rest will be my day off. It doesn’t mean that I will eat everything in the house or not exercise even if I feel like it. It means I will have a day to sleep-in, relax, be more casual with myself. I’m confident that these guidelines will be the way to a positive, life-long solution instead of the constant see-saw I have been living on for the past 8+ years.

Life is hard sometimes but often, we make it harder than it has to be. My goal is to have a happy family, stress-free career, care-free lifestyle, healthy and fit body and a creative mind. I’m nearly there…I’m so close to it. Any.Day.Now.

On my next big win (selling an article) I am booking myself in for a massage.

What are your favourite ways to celebrate a victory?