Kai Chronicles

Eating, exploring and enjoying life


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Today, I feel “normal”

So, today I feel good. Maybe even great.

To be honest, I’ve been quite down lately.

I’ve even been having some scary panic attacks.

I think it’s the changes I’ve made. As much as I want to accept it, I’m struggling with the decision.

I’m such an all or nothing kind of person that I fell into a void and adopted the attitude of, “I can’t be assed to do anything”.

fucketlist

And little have I done. Or at least, in my mind, I have done little this month.

My reporting paycheque is going to possibly be the lowest I’ve had since I started with the paper back in August 2012. And that scares the hell out of me.

I know I have issues with money and I need to change that. I need to forget about the money side of EVERYTHING!

It’s hard to do.

But today, I stuck to my proposed schedule and I actually accomplished some stuff.

I’m working on a new website, which is really exiting.

I feel like I’m motivated again.

And if I can stick to my weekly roster (at reduced hours in the “office”) I may just beat my anxiety and depression.

And the upside to my melancholy is that I’m back to reading!! Before, my mind was too busy to sit down with a novel but now,  I’ve devoured 2 romance novels in less than 2 weeks! That has also inspired me to get back to working on my own novel.

 

bad times


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Never give up

I had one of those days.

A day that was wasted with thoughts of indecision, apathy, fear and melancholy. It was pointless and useless.

I achieved very little.

Then with an hour before Master T was to arrive home, I got my motivation back. I don’t know what changed exactly. I just pulled myself up out of my slump and got on with things.

I’m not a quitter. Like I said yesterday, I’m committed to many things and I may fall from my perch sometimes but I do get back up there.

It’s times like these that I especially love inspirational quotes. Here’s one of my favourites.

it's never too late

©Jennifer Morton Photos