Most of us live in a world where everything is within our reach.
There is always something new to eat, drink, buy, achieve, want, desire and so on.
But in a world that is full of “stuff” and ladders to climb, how much is too much?
How many unnecessary material “things” does one really need?
How many meals and snacks does one need to feel satisfied?
How many vices do I need to make it through each day?
How many credentials does one need to be successful?
How many goals, dreams and desires do you need to move forward?
How full does your life “plate” really need to be?
For the past few years, ok many years now, I have been over-stuffing myself with food, drink, drugs, assignments, courses, plans, to do lists, goals…you name it.
Yesterday, I turned 42.
I also signed up for a Diploma of Photography course and I did a solo skydive (my first in over 5 months).
Now, I know this all sounds very exciting, even to me but it’s extremely overwhelming too.
The course is a full-on commitment for sure. I haven’t even looked at the 1st module yet. I have 6 more days to cancel without penalty if I choose. It’s not really an option.
The skydive was nerve-wrecking to say the least. Although I have had a skydiving license for 8.5 years, I have only completed 3 solo jumps in the past 8 years; one yesterday and 2 in October. This is not ideal.
There are many factors to consider when becoming a solo skydiver. I’m not sure I considered any of them when I did my AFF course or before doing my jump yesterday.
When you’re not a current jumper, and as inexperienced as I am (I have only ever done 38 solo jumps, including my AFF course), it’s not only hard on anxiety levels, it’s bloody time consuming.
Mr M, who is a skydiver by trade advised me to get current this week and next and maybe next. Whatever it takes over the next few weeks.
This means much more money and much more time.
Time (or money) that I do not have, nor do I want to give to skydiving. But I’m not sure I want to give it up completely yet. I’m questioning my reasons for jumping at all.
Basically, I don’t place it as a priority. I don’t need or want to excel at skydiving. I want to excel at writing, photography, my health, motherhood and my marriage.
My life plate is over-flowing. Here is what is currently on it:
- Full-time freelance writing (which comes with a long TO DO list alone)
- Writing my first novel
- Housewife with all the normal duties (cleaning, cooking, shopping, admin)
- Mother to 7-year-old boy
- Fitness and meditation
- Health issues to deal with
- School runs
- NEW! Photography student
- NEW! Skydiving student (kind of)
Today I woke up with the skydiving decision looming over me. Most things on the list above cannot be omitted.
It’s noon on a Tuesday and I am still in my pyjamas. I have had 2 coffees, chocolate and no food so far. This is rare but today, I found depression trying to sneak up on me. I won’t let it in of course. The desire to perform and succeed is too strong in me. I don’t have time for the blues or pity for myself.
For today, skydiving has been knocked off my list. I just need more time to wrap my head around my priorities. I guess, it all comes down to that doesn’t it? Priorities.
©Jennifer Morton Photos
Are you doing too much? Do you feel overwhelmed? Is there something you can give up without sacrifice?