Kai Chronicles

Eating, exploring and enjoying life


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How much is too much?

Most of us live in a world where everything is within our reach.

There is always something new to eat, drink, buy, achieve, want, desire and so on.

But in a world that is full of “stuff” and ladders to climb, how much is too much?

How many unnecessary material “things” does one really need?

How many meals and snacks does one need to feel satisfied?

How many vices do I need to make it through each day?

How many credentials does one need to be successful?

How many goals, dreams and desires do you need to move forward?

How full does your life “plate” really need to be?

For the past few years, ok many years now, I have been over-stuffing myself with food, drink, drugs, assignments, courses, plans, to do lists,  goals…you name it.

Yesterday, I turned 42.

I also signed up for a Diploma of Photography course and I did a solo skydive (my first in over 5 months).

Now, I know this all sounds very exciting, even to me but it’s extremely overwhelming too.

The course is a full-on commitment for sure. I haven’t even looked at the 1st module yet. I have 6 more days to cancel without penalty if I choose. It’s not really an option.

The skydive was nerve-wrecking to say the least. Although I have had a skydiving license for 8.5 years, I have only completed 3 solo jumps in the past 8 years; one yesterday and 2 in October. This is not ideal.

There are many factors to consider when becoming a solo skydiver. I’m not sure I considered any of them when I did my AFF course or before doing my jump yesterday.

When you’re not a current jumper, and as inexperienced as I am (I have only ever done 38 solo jumps, including my AFF course), it’s not only hard on anxiety levels, it’s bloody time consuming.

Mr M, who is a skydiver by trade advised me to get current this week and next and maybe next. Whatever it takes over the next few weeks.

This means much more money and much more time.

Time (or money)  that I do not have, nor do I want to give to skydiving. But I’m not sure I want to give it up completely yet. I’m questioning my reasons for jumping at all.

Basically, I don’t place it as a priority. I don’t need or want to excel at skydiving. I want to excel at writing, photography, my health, motherhood and my marriage.

My life plate is over-flowing. Here is what is currently on it:

  • Full-time freelance writing (which comes with a long TO DO list alone)
  • Writing my first novel
  • Housewife with all the normal duties (cleaning, cooking, shopping, admin)
  • Mother to 7-year-old boy
  • Fitness and meditation
  • Health issues to deal with
  • School runs
  • NEW! Photography student
  • NEW! Skydiving student (kind of)

Today I woke up with the skydiving decision looming over me. Most things on the list above cannot be omitted.

It’s noon on a Tuesday and I am still in my pyjamas. I have had 2 coffees, chocolate and no food so far.  This is rare but today, I found depression trying to sneak up on me. I won’t let it in of course. The desire to perform and succeed is too strong in me. I don’t have time for the blues or pity for myself.

For today, skydiving has been knocked off my list. I just need more time to wrap my head around my priorities. I guess, it all comes down to that doesn’t it? Priorities. 

goethe

©Jennifer Morton Photos

Are you doing too much? Do you feel overwhelmed? Is there something you can give up without sacrifice? 

 

 

 

 

 


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Setting priorities as a way of self-care

According to my wee Oxford English dictionary, here is the definition of priority.

Priority n. Thing considered more important than others; right to do something before other people.

I have a problem with knowing what my priorities are. As a wife and mother, it’s easy to lose myself in that role. And being a housewife, mother and paid writer it is easy to  get overwhelmed by the commitments involved in each one. They clash, bump and overlap each other in a trying and confusing way.

I think there is often a very fine line between what I want to do as an individual  and what I  feel I am committed to do as one-third of a family unit.

Last week, I didn’t write any blog posts. I had a slow freefall to despair and by the time Friday hit I couldn’t wait to just forget about writing, deadlines, pitches and computers!

I took the entire weekend OFF. I didn’t even turn on the computer. Instead, I went to the beach with Master T and we got heaps of vitamin D. We even jumped off the jetty into the cold, clear, salty Indian Ocean. Not usually my cup of tea, but it was great to get out of my uncomfortable comfort zone.

 

My local beach…yes I live in paradise

 I’m considering making the beach #1 on my list of priorities. I got totally sunburned and even that was great. I finished a book that I’ve been slowly reading for months and I made sure Mr M got lunch delivered to him at work. These things would not have happened if my ass was glued to a chair in front of my Mac.

Master T at play

And spending time with my 6-year-old son was much-needed. I must admit, I feel bad for working and being on the computer most of the day. It’s school holidays here in Western Australia so he is home with me 24/7. His dad works outside the home so that’s not an option. Right now, he’s playing quietly in his room while watching Toy Story 3. Bless him.

Back to priorities…of course #1 would be the health and welfare of my child but I feel like that statement is like a Miss Universe candidate saying the only things she wants is world peace.

Is it not a cliché? I mean, of course I want my child to be safe, be confident, be happy, be fed, be joyful, be loved…but does that mean my wants, needs and desires must come to a stop until he is an adult?

When he was a baby I certainly did put my life on hold and cared for him like there was nothing else. Now, he’s almost 7 and able to read, write, ride a bike, play Lego, dress himself, wash himself and think for himself. If I could only get him to make his own meals…..

Aside from the obvious that is above, I have made a list based on what I feel is most important to ME on a daily basis. This may change daily or even hourly…lol.

 

#1.  Meditate and cultivate calm within myself

#2.  Exercise at least 15 minutes (not including walking or bike riding that I do most days)

#3.  Write Write Write (sell sell sell…lol)

#4.  Make dinner for my family. Eat together..always

#5.  Rest…if I do not get to rest during the day, go to bed early

#6.  Read, whether it be a few pages of a magazine or a novel

 

Basically, this is the routine of my day, not that it always happens that way. If all of these things happen, then I’m happy.  Just writing that list makes me feel calm and grateful for my life. Imagine the stress reduction in society if we all just had personal priorities and lived by them. It’s not easy to figure out what your own priorities are but jotting down some ideal ones may help you see more clearly.
Do you have your priorities in order?